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Sagen Sie die Farbe, nicht das Wort

 

 Wie viele Beine hat der Elephant?

Wie viele Beine hat der Elephant ?

 
_________________
  

EuroEnglish

The European Union commissioners have agreed to adopt English as the preferred language for European communication. The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the second possibility.

 

Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments.

 

European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased program of changes to iron out these anomalies. The program would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.

 

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as “EuroEnglish” (Euro for short).

 

In the first year, Her Majesty’s government disclosed that “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard “c” will be replaced with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

 

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when it is announsed that the troublesome ‘ph’ would henseforth be replaced by ‘f’. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 per sent shorter.

 

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e”‘s in the languag is disgrasful, and they should go away. Therfor we kould drop them and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend.

 

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps sutch as replasing ‘th’ by ‘z’ and “w” by “v”. Perhaps zen ze funktion of ‘w’ kould be taken on by ‘v’, vitsh is, after al, half a ‘w’.

 

Shortly after zis, ze unesesary ‘o’ kould be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’. Similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

 

Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

 

Und efter ze fifz yer, ZE DREMS OF ZE GUVERMNT VUD FINALI HAV KUM TRU!  

 

Ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.  

 

 

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